Need Cover Fast?

Drop us a line. We don't talk to the feds.

Send Dispatch

All communications are encrypted and confidential

Emergency Hotline

📞
(555) 192-0NOIR

24/7 secure line for urgent matters

Secure Communications

📧
hello@bonnieclyde.toys

Encrypted email for sensitive inquiries

Safe House Location

📍
Undisclosed Location

For security reasons, our headquarters remain classified

Response Time

⏱️
24-48 Hours

We respond faster than the authorities

Frequently Asked Questions

Is shipping discreet?

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Like a speakeasy passcode — untraceable and unmarked. All packages arrive in plain, professional packaging with no indication of contents. Your privacy is our top priority.

Do you accept returns?

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Returns on unopened items only. We're rebels, not monsters. All returns must be initiated within 30 days of delivery and items must be in original, unopened packaging for hygiene reasons.

How secure is my personal information?

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Your data is protected with bank-level encryption. We never share customer information with third parties, and all transactions are processed through secure, encrypted channels.

What payment methods do you accept?

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We accept all major credit cards, PayPal, and cryptocurrency for maximum discretion. All transactions appear as "BC Luxury Goods" on statements.